Tuesday, February 1, 2011

One of those defining moments

“You Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.: Isaiah 26:3

It was one of those defining moments when something small grabs your attention and the impact it has brings you to your knees.

My little dog Abbie is a miniature long-haired dachshund, red, adorable, sweet and funny. A few weeks ago she started suffering from really dry skin and has been scratching herself a lot.

About 4 this morning, she started scratching and wouldn’t stop, waking me up. After a few mins of her continuing I got frustrated and just sort of jumped out of bed without taking a moment or two to wake up. So, now I’m up early and grumpy.

After I fed the dogs, Abbie wouldn’t eat her food, so I was fighting with the other two dogs to keep them out of her bowl and finally just gave up and put her bowl up. Abbie was still scratching so I decided Benadryl was in order. Well that turned into a small struggle.

You know how when you sometimes drink a soda and someone makes you laugh it goes up your nose and it hurts and burns? Well apparently that’s what happened, only with the Benadryl. So now my dog is choking, foaming at the mouth and in general freaking out because the Benadryl has gone up her nose and she is not happy. The hiccups ensued, followed by dry heaves. OK. I’m done. I get my coffee and sit down on the couch with her on my lap and spent the next 30 minutes trying to calm her.

As she was laying there, her sweet little head resting against my shoulder, she started to calm down. The more she calmed down the more I calmed down; and the more I calmed down, the louder I heard God talking to me. You see, to me, Dogs are truly little angels sent from God. This morning was a perfect example of that. As Abbie lay there in my arms, I realized that, even though I started the morning off grumpy with her, frustrated, and upset, here she was, not hiding from me, but laying in my lap, letting me love her, letting me care for her. Her unconditional love for me, even in my mess up, is a reminder of God’s amazing and unconditional love. His love for me is limitless. Even when I mess up, God loves me.

Some pretty amazing things have been going on in my heart and my life lately, and I feel hear and see God working in me. As I was driving to work after all this, my eyes started filling with tears, and my heartstrings were being gently tugged. I thought about the morning and was reminded that I have always been a very tender hearted person, and yet, I have had to, or at least I thought I had to, had a little bit of a rough exterior. In the past this has served as my armor to shelter me from hurt.

But there is this new Linda emerging. A woman that God is redefining, molding into the woman He wants me to be. Not the mold other people want me to fit in; not the mold of the woman I want to be; but the mold of the woman that my Heavenly Father wants me to be.

There is a new gentleness of spirit in my heart today, a spirit that God is working on. I have seen a simple gracefulness emerging in my heart. It isn’t something born of weariness or defeat, rather, born of the struggles that I know God has allowed me to bear because He needs me to be strong. It is this new woman that is emerging that reminds me that in everything, God is good and He will Love me and see me through. Armed with God now, I am little by little, becoming New.

Heavenly Father, thank you for this morning. Thank you for reminding me that even when I mess up that you love me. Thank you for reminding me that you are working in my heart and in my life, and that you are redefining who I am. Thank you for teaching me that all of my struggles are opportunities to grow; that failure is nothing but perspective, and that, in all things, if I arm myself with Your Love, and trust in You my life will continue to grow, and I pray that because of what you have done in my life, I will help to plant the seed of You in the hearts of others.