Abbie is sitting on the back of the couch grumbling as she watches the squirrels chase each other through the cool September morning. I am recovering from a bit of a nasty cold. a couple of years back, I would not have let the cold stop me, I would still have gone to the gym, taken the dogs for a walk, cleaned the house and done all the laundry yesterday. But I have learned that rest is a good thing, for the body, the mind, and the soul. Yesterday, after a couple errands and a little light housecleaning, I spent the rest of the day mostly resting, reading, contemplating.
Last January, I lost the job I had been with for 11 years, and a time of rest, trust, but definite difficulty began for me. I remember telling Pastor Michael that this was a God thing. I knew I needed to get out of my job for things had changed in the last couple of years, and for many reasons the company morale, and mine, started sinking. but God is faithful, and I think he picked me up out of that situation, and gave me a time of rest. My severance pay carried me thru until Mid July. During this time I experienced a lot of difficult things which challenged me both emotionally and spiritually. Though it all, even though I sometimes questioned God, I always kept my story straight, knowing He was working behind the scenes. I never lost my faith and trust in him.
Spring forward to the beginning of June and I finally got a new job. I was elated, the salesperson, otherwise known as Vice President of Development convinced me how great the opportunities for growth were and how quickly they would come about, you see she confided in me,we many things in the works and the company is well known.
Little did I know that the company was a sinking ship barely able to meet payroll and other obligations, and over the course of the next three months it progressively got worse. On two occasions I didn't get paid on time, and it seems my bills would have to take a seat behind the ever growing bills and unpaid bills of the company. The attitude with which my employer presented this to me was unconscionable. I hope I never have to experience an employer upset that I am upset for not getting paid on time.
I held on because, I did after all manage to get my check, which I needed. But I knew in my heart that this was only a stepping stone, that God had plans, and that I was there, right where I was supposed to be.
Don't get me wrong, there were many days where I melted down and asked Him why this was happening. There were many times I cried and got angry for being in this difficult situation. But at the end of the day, I knew He was working in the background....just not at the pace I wanted Him too....have you ever noticed that God doesn't do it on our schedule? Funny thing is, because He doesn't adhere to our schedule, better, brighter things come along.
A few weeks ago, the employment market started breaking open, and I was getting a lot of phone calls. I have continued to look for another job knowing that this was not the place where I was esupposed to be long term. I started interviewing. One job in particular that I had hoped would work out has continued their lengthy process of interviewing and testing me and I know that I am one of their 2 top candidates right now. I laughed at this, thinking, "so this is where you are putting me, huh God."
To my surprise I was contacted by another company, interviewed, and was offered the job less than a day after I interviewed. The funny thing is I like this job as much if not more than the other. I prayed, I accepted, and I laughed at the way God sometimes works in our lives.
I don't know if this is my dream job, or if this is where God is going to land me as a long term job. What I do know, and have learned through these last months is this, God works in His way, in His time, and at the end of the day, it is ultimately better for us then anything we could have planned for ourselves.
I know this, more than I have ever known, and having seen it, in real time, and real circumstance, it is up to me to ever trust my Heavenly Father, and even when I fail to feel it, continuing to do those disciplines like prayer, and Bible reading, and studying, are so important in keeping us connected to Him. Being connected to God allows the river of trust and faith to flow freely. More importantly even than all of that, RESTING in His Presence, will bring hope in darkness.
I am blessed to have a Faithful, Loving and Forgiving God. I am blessed to have my eyes opened to how amazing He truly is. Watching life unfold in my friends and family, and in myself, has blessed me beyond any vision I could have had.